Protecting My Motherhood

I’ve just recently had my third baby. You could say that life has been a lot more busy. Two little boys and a teething four-month-old can make a mama tired…actually forget tired, it can make a mama feel like she’s drowning.

I’m a homemaker. I love a clean, inviting home and as the wife of a pastor, we sometimes get unexpected visitors. I’m learning to let go of the embarrassment of a messy house and receive grace, but as much as I can help it, my home will be tidy. This urge to keep up my home doesn’t always get along with little children or even my marriage. I often find myself overwhelmed with chores and tasks that I feel need to be competed as quickly as possible. How is it that I can clean the entire house and the next day it look as if I did nothing? Sometimes I feel like I’m doggy paddling in the middle of the ocean with no shore to rest.

My husband returned from work one evening to find me completely frazzled and buried with frustration. He pulled me close and I first rejected his tenderness because I was angry at everything. He still held me there. After a while, I collapsed in his embrace and just allowed myself to be loved. I cried on his chest as my children ran over and hugged my legs. 

Later that night, he put the children to bed and we whispered to each other about my feelings and fragile heart. He told me “We have to cast our every care and every burden on Jesus. We can’t let our flesh creep in.” In my own self I can get swallowed up. Hidden in Jesus, I’m safe and strengthened and receive grace for this crazy ride of motherhood and marriage.

I took a shower later and somehow in the brief and quiet moments, literally naked before God, He whispers a gentle chastisement, “Protect your motherhood. Protect your marriage.” I’ve allowed my bitterness, my anger and frustration through the front door as a welcomed guest. I would wake up with my mind already set on grumbling. Oh man, when God speaks such simple words, He reveals so much. 

So today I decided, I need God. As the song goes, “I need you Lord more than the air I breathe, more than this song I sing, more than the next heartbeat, more than anything…I need you, Lord!” I need Him in my mothering, in cleaning my home, in cooking dinner. I need Him when children are crying and laughing. I need Him when there is joy and I need Him when there’s no joy to muster up in myself.

I needed Him today when I decided that taking all three children out maybe isn’t as daunting as it looks. I needed Him when I had no plans for lunch for my family. I needed Him when I chose to go to Perkins with two hungry little boys and a fussy baby all by myself…and you know what? He was there, protecting my motherhood and giving me happy times with my children full of giggles and sticky fingers and chocolate faces. He’ll be there too when the work is done. I’m kept in His love for me…in His care for me. Protecting my motherhood comes from running to my defender, my Savior, my Jesus. 

Stitch Fix Review: Part 1

I recently decided to care just a little bit about my wardrobe. I am a stay-at-home mom so my wardrobe does not by any means, need to be fancy. That being said, I do find myself feeling better and more motivated to tackle the day when I’m not a mess and still in pajamas. (I have been known to be in pajamas all day a few times in my life).

I had been briefly looking through my closet to assess what was in there. I’ve had this sweet, coral pink, strapless dress that I wore for my sister-in-law’s wedding. After two babies, my goal was to fit back into that dress. Except, 4 years and two children later, I realized that I am no longer the same person that would wear a dress like that. Hmm, time for a “momervention”

I decided to jump on the Stitch Fix bandwagon. In case you don’t know, Stitch Fix is an online styling company that offer you a personal stylist for a $20 fee (which goes towards any items you choose). The stylist chooses 5 pieces of clothing and accessories based off of an online profile that you fill out. You can also link up your Pinterest page so your stylist has a better idea of what you may like. Since I do not know how to “create” looks very well, I was excited to see what my stylist would choose for me.

My box arrived EARLY. If you have ever anticipated a package arriving, you could understand my excitement at its early arrival! I tore that box open like a wild animal!

My “fix” contained two blouses, a pair of skinny jeans, a dress and pair of earring

Ok, so there are my looks! What do you think? I will tell you a little bit more about my thoughts, what I chose keep and what I sent back and what it all cost in my next post! In the meantime, if you want to get a fix, check it out HERE!

“Hold on Loosely”

Two years ago, Judah and I were considering a possible move back to Pennsylvania. I never ever wanted to live here again but God was working something on my heart. I found this old draft I had written during that time. I thought it was an appropriate blog post as God is still working these things out in me!

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My little Levi is 15 months old. He is still not walking yet but he’s taken a few steps on his own. I recently posted a video of the very first steps he took. I was so proud! After about the 500th time of watching, I noticed something….my hands. I held him there and stabled his legs. I continued to hold him as he took a step or two. Then I let go. I watched my hands hold on tight and then let go to see him walk. I had to let go or else he wouldn’t WALK.

I felt God speak to my heart in that moment…

“Hold on loosely.” 

This phrase seems to be an ever constant whisper that is penetrating the deadbolt lock on my heart.

I’m a homey person. There are certain comforts in my life that I’ve come to expect and honestly have refused to live without. I like my flowers, I like my pillows, I like my clean kitchen and my fancy Kitchen Aid mixer. I certainly love my all-the-time access to the internet and a coffee whenever I feel like it. London is my home now. It’s urban and sophisticated. It’s a place where I felt that I had finally made it. I can finally say, “Hey world! I made it out of that small town life! I’m living it up ABROAD.” I’ve got my wonderful husband and my adorable little boy. I’m settled. I’m comfortable. I’m a Christian.

But what does it really mean to be a Christian? Is it living a moral lifestyle and being a good person? Is it going to church on Sundays? Is it making every meeting, raising your hands during the worship and saying how good God really is? What is it that God is calling us, as Christians, to do? What does it mean to really follow Christ? During one of His sermons, in Luke 14, Jesus says to His followers “If you want to be My disciple, you must hate everyone else by comparison—your father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters—yes, even your own life. Otherwise, you cannot be my disciple.” Jesus isn’t telling us to hate people. In fact, He goes as far as to say, “Love your enemies.” So what does this mean then? It means, in order to follow Christ, I’m going to have to hold loosely to everything I hold tightly to and cling on, anchor myself in Christ. The cost of following Jesus, of being a Christian, is great. It’s going to cost me a lot and Jesus even goes on to say “And if you do not carry your own cross and follow me, you cannot be my disciple.”

So, in order to be a follower of Christ, I’m going to have to give up what I love and hold dear? The answer is YES. Why? Because HE GAVE EVERYTHING for me!!! God isn’t looking to strip me, deprive me and ruin me because I owe Him. No! God is looking for a heart abandoned to Him that recognizes the utterly helpless place we were in and the redeeming work of  a loving Saviour…a heart that fully depends on and trusts in Him.

He is looking for a deep, loving, personal relationship. A relationship that sets you free from the hurts, addictions, pains and horrible things of this life and a relationship that restores, blesses, redeems, makes new, and sets free! The price He paid for that relationship was the greatest price of all. A sinless God, in the form of a man, was tortured, beaten, ridiculed and murdered. Not only that, but He paid the FULL price of the world’s sin. He fully satisfied God so that you and I could be brought back into that love relationship with God.

So hold on loosely my friends…because God will gather you up in His loving arms and meet every need.

Keeping a Guest Ready Home: Strategies

Ding Dong.

Judah and I look at each other. “Who’s that!?” We rush, picking up toys, putting pillows back on the couch, hurling dirty diapers into hidden parts of the dining room. It’s right about now that I’m thinking to myself, “Wasn’t I doing a blog post about keeping a guest ready home?” Those moments when I had great ideas like “I think I’ll start following a cleaning schedule” or “I think I should do my chores FIRST thing today” suddenly come creeping back into my mind as I am about to open the door to someone who’s been standing there just a little bit longer than normal.

(We all have those moments. Please, open the door anyway. Your guest is most likely only interested in enjoying the pleasure of your company.)

To avoid moments like that or to just get things cleaned up for your own sake, its good to have a strategy. How do you keep after your home when you’ve got little children, busy schedules and are just too tired some days?

USE A TIMER!!!

It sounds silly but I’ve been using a timer to help motivate me and get things done since I was a little girl. I don’t want to be cleaning for a long time. I’m also pretty sure that my baby is going to decide to wake up after I just get started. I need a quick tidy up and motivation. So I set a timer just long enough to get the job done and just short enough to make me hustle. You want a little friendly competition with yourself. To clean my living room, dining room and kitchen, I give myself about 25 minutes. I find that’s a reasonable amount of time to quickly get it all done. Even if the timer stops before I am finished, I usually am still motivated to finish the job. That’s it. 25 minutes a day. Then my house is in a fairly good condition for a guest stop by and it’s not a horrible disaster. Plus, I get to enjoy the rest of my day doing more important things like, welcoming you to my home!

What strategies do you use to keep a guest ready home? Have you tried a timer? Let me know!

Keeping a Guest Ready Home: A Room for Grace

My life has changed roles in the past few years. I went from a working mama to a stay-at-home mom and pastor’s wife. Our home is not only a place for our family, but it can also be a meeting place, an office, a hotel, a counseling room, and a place where many have worshiped. Don’t get me wrong, I am learning to really love the open home lifestyle and I hope that my home can be used for many MORE things in the future, but sometimes, my home is not always “guest ready.”

Growing up, my mother was a great example to me in keeping a home. I remember being so proud to invite my second grade teacher over for breakfast because my mother had made our home look so pretty. I was proud of her and grateful that she knew how to make a guest feel at home and welcome. My mother had little incentives like “Room of the Week Award” to help us learn to keep our rooms clean and if we wanted to have a friend over, you had better give the bathroom a wipe down because that was only place a guest is ever by themselves in your home. As a teenager, I hated that my job doing the dishes was the most involved and seemed to take the longest amount of time than any other chore. Doing the dishes really meant wiping the counters, cleaning the sink and sweeping up the floor. I learned that I don’t just wipe what I see…I lift everything up and wipe underneath that too. I’m very grateful now to my mother for showing me these things and teaching me how to keep a home.

As a mama with two energetic boys and a pastor for a husband with an unpredictable schedule, a home can sometimes be difficult to manage. Cleaning is often a major stumbling block for me. I can easily get overwhelmed with all that I need to do and that sometimes creates a heart issue that needs more cleaning than a messy house. Yikes. This is why I’ve l learned a few tools along the way to help in these situations.

I don’t get it right all of the time (just ask my husband) and my home is certainly far from perfect (who likes perfect anyway?) but the ONE thing I’ve been learning to do to keep a “guest ready” home is to always make sure there is a ready room for Grace. Grace should NEVER be the unexpected guest. When you make room for Grace, you make room for help. When Grace has a room, there is no vacancy for feeling overwhelmed. Stress checks out and Grace occupies the room in your heart. There will be days that you just cannot keep your house cleaned up and there are times when life gets in the way and you’ve had a screaming baby all night and you just don’t have the energy to keep after the home…but keep a tidied heart. Clean out any junk that would trip you up and get in the way of receiving Grace at your door. Think of Grace as your housekeeper, ready to help and clean out all that seeks to get in your way.

The next few posts will be some helpful home tips to make life a bit easier and ready for that unexpected guest. Take time today though and tidy up that heart. Is there a ready room for Grace?

Presence

Tonight my three-year-old son had a total meltdown. He wanted his shirt on. He didn’t want his shirt on. When I would offer a new shirt, he would refuse. When I told him to sleep without one, he would tell me he wanted the shirt. It turned into a horrible, screaming toddler battle. This is all happened after a fun filled day at the children’s museum and no time for a nap. He was clearly over-tired and really needing sleep but there was that defiant, stomping, screaming, “I want my way!” attitude that couldn’t just be passed up with a “Oh he’s just tired” excuse. I had to deal with this. My husband had late meetings tonight so I was left to take care of it all by myself. Honestly, these types of situations really intimidate me. It’s not my three-year-old that intimidates me, but it’s how I go about making sure that my son understands that when he says “NO!” to his mama and pushes her face, that it isn’t just resolving the situation and giving him what he wants…it’s about dealing with the sin. The ugly, disease filled SIN that is responsible for separating him from God, Himself. This. is. serious.

Doing what I could, I was left defeated. He was still screaming and crying and I was exasperated. I needed help.

I took a few minutes just to pray. I prayed in the Spirit because I didn’t even know what to ask. I didn’t know what I needed. I didn’t know what he needed…but the Spirit who searches even the depths of God knew. He knew. So after praying, I went back in and laid down with my son. I prayed over him. I rubbed his head and I prayed. I watched the tears stop and his body relax. I kept praying and he went silent. His eyes closed. He fell asleep. His mama was right there with him. He knew I loved him even after everything we had just been through because I was right there with him.

As I laid and prayed over him, God gave me a very clear picture. How many times have I had done that with Him? How many times have I refused something He was offering me? How many times had I gone back and forth with choosing Him and not choosing Him? In those moments where I lose myself, where life won’t give me what I want or need, or when I can’t seem to handle even my own self…it’s His presence that is the answer. His presence is what calms me. His presence is what allows me to rest. Psalm 73:28 says “As for me, the nearness of God is my good.” The Bible also tells me that He will NEVER leave me or forsake me!! If that’s true, then God Himself is always there, even in toddler meltdowns and when I don’t know how to handle these situations on my own. It’s in these moments of fellowship with God, that He heaps on grace. He deposits help and my peace account is back in the green. He fills up my empty tank with joy and purpose. Sometimes the answers may not be clear and life may still look like a mess, but He is my safety and works all things out for my good. He is my calm in the storm…my hiding place. His presence is my peace.

I’m thankful that just by me being in the room, my sweet little boy was able to let go and rest and I’m expecting to follow the same example in the presence of my Heavenly Father!

It’s been a while

Hey there cyber world. Its been a long time. The Ground Floor life has long since passed and turned into a duplex. Remnants of smoothies and market fruit still remain however and are just as important in my toddler-run world. Now, with child number two, I still wonder about toddler meals and baby slings but my mind is also filled with household cleaning tips and living a life full of grace upon grace. So I returned here to find the cobwebs of a once exciting life abroad filled with horse-drawn lawn mowers in royal parks, vibrant colors of the market place, coffee shops and memories of a little baby boy. He is now a three-year-old currently shoving Elmo in my face and running around in his tighty-whities. Trailing behind him with “deh deh dahs” and a few “claps claps” is his baby brother, my sweet little Asher. He turned 1 last week. Last I wrote in this blog, my Levi boy was the same age. So, I’ll just pick up right where I left off…

Babywearing: Learning and Loving

Babywearing during Sunday worship

Two weeks ago, I borrowed a soft-structured carrier (SSC) from a sling library in South London. For two weeks, Levi has been worn probably more than ever in his life and for two weeks I have been researching, researching and researching baby slings and their comparisons.

The handy hood and a sleeping baby

We took home with us the Tula Standard SSC. We wore Joonks, who is actually named Levi, everywhere we went. We wore him in the store, around town, on walks, to and from his grandparent’s house, at a Sunday church service while leading worship, and even on a little trip to Wales! It’s been a blast and it has really made me fall in love with babywearing. The mei tei that we had been using did us well but Levi was growing out of it quickly and it wasn’t doing my back any favors. I wasn’t IN LOVE with babywearing as much as I wanted to be. I’ll admit, I really wanted to be one of those cool, crunchy, babywearing mammas! The Tula, literally changed all of that. I will babywear for as long I can.

Two weeks ago, I made a first impression post. I liked the Tula but I found a few things a bit annoying…like the hood. I complained that the hood didn’t cover up Levi’s head when it started to rain. It kind of locked his head flat down to my chest. I learned later that this hood isn’t really meant to cover their heads in bad weather. It’s just simply to hold their head while sleeping so they don’t end up with a neck cramp. This is especially useful in a back carry when you can’t hold their head in your hands. DUH HANNAH. Okay Tula hood, you served your purpose well…okay fine, really well. The other complaint I had was the pocket on the back panel. I still found this to be annoying and useless because I didn’t want my phone or keys digging into my son’s back. When I researched further though, I found that the newer Tulas actually have a pocket on the waistband. SCORE!! These two simple little features are what might have swayed my decision to a different carrier. I’m so glad that I got that chance to get to know it.

So as you might have guessed, I chose a Tula. Here are my reasons why…

1. My little Levi is comfortable and perfectly content when being worn.
2. It’s comfortable for the wearer! (Although, I did have to get used to all the babywearing and your shoulders and back will have to build up a bit of strength.)
3. The back panel is wide and tall enough to support Levi’s legs and give him a nice, deep seat even as he grows bigger and taller.
4. The padded, adjustable straps fit a wide variety of bodies, making them to fit both Appa and I.
5. On the newer Tulas, they have straps connected to the panel to either bring baby closer or further away from your body. This is really great when trying to breastfeed!
6. The sleeping hood holding that precious little coconut close to me.
7. THE PRINTS!!!! I can’t stress this enough. The prints are AMAZING…and those are just the canvas prints!
8. The fact that I’m supporting a woman whose business is to help other Mammas be close to their babies…and make life SO MUCH EASIER!
9. The customer service is amazing and Ula (the owner) will do anything to help if there is a problem with your Tula.
10. The community. There is a facebook group that shares stories, answers questions and just shares the Tula Love. Ula is very involved with this group and takes in suggestions, opinions and requests. Other mammas share their “Stashes” and everyone just enjoys the best baby carrier out there!

    

    Looking at the bumble bees

After a few days of anticipation, I finally received my first Tula in the mail! I chose the Gray Zig Zag print with the yellow hood and leg pads. The yellow is a lot less bright than the pictures show and is, in fact, a lovely mustard color. Just the right colours to match Levi’s nursery. I chose the Toddler size since it’s got lots of room to grow into and seems to just snuggle him up. I AM IN LUUUUURVE!

Do you have a favourite baby carrier? Have any questions about the Tula? Want to just comment on the Tula amazingness? Leave me a comment!

Tula LOVE

Recovery Smoothie

Joonks was ill yesterday. I came home from work to find out that he vomited and had a fever! I think that is just one of the worst feelings in the world–finding out your child is unwell. He barely ate any food and only wanted to cuddle with Mamma. I hated that he was sick, but I really did love the cuddles. He even managed to kiss me several times. What a little sweetheart I have.

Today he is feeling MUCH better and that is all thanks to God. We prayed, he was healed. It’s quite remarkable seeing the difference. He’s got energy (right this very moment, he’s headbutting my stomach…yep, he sure does have that energy), he’s got his spunky personality and every lovable Joonkoo trait back to normal. I can only thank God for such an amazing recovery!

Asking for “Juuuu”

Today I am on a mission to getting some good nutrients back into his body. I always resort back to a smoothie to help do the job. It’s a sure way to get him what he needs (and more!) into one drink. He LOVES his smoothies. Every single morning he asks me for his “Juuuu” (juice). I had some avocado pears, spinach, mango slices, berries and pears laying around. I decided to use everything I had! I was out of yogurt today which helps to make my smoothies nice and thick, not to mention the nutritional benefits, but with recent experience, I discovered that blending anything with an avocado will make it super thick. You always need to add a little bit more liquid when using avocados to reach that perfect smoothie consistency (and to pass through your toddler’s sippy!). I used oat milk today. It’s lower calorie  than whole milk and fruit juice (for my benefit) and it’s full of fibre an. All of the ingredients added to today’s smoothie are great for building up Joonk’s immune system, including Vitamin C and Vitamin A. This is why I LOVE smoothies for baby! It’s a perfect way to get them what they need.

I thought the smoothie would end up green like most of the smoothies I make with avocado and spinach. However, those berries really like to make their presence known. It turned a beautiful raspberry color, a color Joonks has not yet seen in his smoothies! He was quite intrigued.

The smoothie was DELICIOUS! It was sweet, thick and wonderful. I loved it and so did Joonks who is currently chugging away this very moment. Below is the recipe and I hope you and your toddler enjoy it as much as we did!

Can you tell he loves this? 

Recovery Smoothie

Ingredients:

1 small avocado pear
1 large handful of spinach
1/2 cup of mixed berried (can use frozen)
1/2 a ripe mango, sliced into pieces
1 small pear peeled and sliced into pieces
1 cup of Oat Milk (or any other desired milk or juice) *You may need to add more or less depending on the consistency desired.

Directions:

Blend together until smooth and creamy and until you’ve reached desired consistency. Pour into a glass or sippy cup and enjoy!

While we’re on the topic…

Please enjoy a Babywearing Flashmob.

 

See, there is no way these Moms could ever be involved in a flashmob if babywearing didn’t exist.

Thank you various slings, wraps and long pieces of fabric. You’ve made the art of flashmobbing available for every Mom.